What`s a Man Bjork?

I’ve got a coupla minutes, so let me ask y`all an incredibly important question: what’s the male equivalent of Bjork?

I ask because above the printer in the film school of the computer lab is a poster of a semi-naked Bjork. It’s tasteful and charming and good like all pictures of Bjork, but she’s holding three leaves over herself and sticking out her tongue and looks blissful and wild like a tiny toy Natassja Kinski, so it’s definitely sexay in content. It doesn’t offend my sensibilities or anything, but it seems only fair that there should be a poster next to it for those who like da fellas instead of da ladies.

But a poster of whom? If it were porny, like a Jenna Jameson, I`d put up Fabio. If it were fashion-magaziney, like a Nicole Kidman, I`d put up a George Clooney. Grace Kelly –> Cary Grant. Lindsay Lohan –> Benjamin McKenzie.

Hey. These are all white people. Boy, do I suck.

Anyway. Who has the talent, aesthetic, and effective but non-threatening sexual presence of a Bjork? Please advise. Some wall space awaits your judgment.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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49 Responses

  1. Smudge says:

    Topher Grace

  2. Anonymous says:

    Conor Oberst, but you didn`t hear me say that.

  3. Alena says:

    To properly assess the male equivalent of Bjork, you must take into consideration just how weird and out there she is. All the other traits you listed are fine, but it`s just not the same if the male of choice doesn`t have a “God.. he`s just so fuckin` weird” thing about him. My brain is fried after a full day of classes, but on this ruminate I must.

  4. incog neato says:

    Prince. Sting. Anthony Kiedis. These are the fellas off the top of my head….. there are assuredly others. I used musician, sexy and weird(even if only a little) as my criteria. I would do any of them. 😉

  5. S says:

    Thom Yorke? Musician, hailed by fans as a genius, kinda weird lookin` but hot, …

  6. Katie says:

    David Bowie

  7. Shestumbledin says:


  8. K says:

    Johnny Depp

  9. j. says:

    going solely on the weird musician thing, i also thought of beck, though somehow i doubt he`s the equivelent for women as bjork is for men. boys. whatever. bjork`s really not all that sexy, if you take away the fame and the music. (which has been rather easy to do since homogenic.)

  10. Alena says:

    Ooo yeah. Good suggestion. I second Prince.

  11. Tory says:

    I really dig the Prince idea. Offbeat, weirdly sexy, talented and tiny.

  12. Laurie says:

    May just be me, but physical resemblance is shared with John Hensley, from Witchblade and Nip/Tuck. But apparently he`s started to look more creepy than sexy. And not a musician… Hm… whaddabout Chris Martin from Coldplay? I don`t know how he fits with the personality of Bjork, but he`s pretty and sexy voiced and lovely.

  13. cherish says:

    i second Thom Yorke.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Beck popped into my mind too. Maybe because I happen to be listening to him right now, but maybe not. He`s weird, talented, asthetically pleasing in a retro kinda way, and kinda nonthreatening-sexy…sorta. Totally Beck.

  15. Pam says:

    Lenny Kravitz. Or John Cusack. Ooh – maybe Jack Black.

  16. Katie says:

    …wondering what a sexy poster of Jack Black would look like. lol

  17. F.A.Y. says:

    Michael Jackson.

  18. supremegoddessofall says:

    michael jackson and sexy are two phrases that can no longer be used in the same sentence unless there`s a “so totally not” separating the two

  19. cherish says:

    michael jackson?………..???

  20. kat says:

    bjork verspertine was good. 😛 I think Trent Reznor could fit in this group. Intelligent, sexy as hell, and certainly doesn`t follow the beat of another.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I second Beck or Johnny Depp. Beck cause he`s cool, hot, and kinda strange. And Johnny because… Well…. He`s Johnny!

  22. supremegoddessofall says:

    i go with johnny depp….definitely johnny depp….

  23. F.A.Y. says:

    I said Mike because he`s weird like her, and both are not sexy. I look at Bjork and think “damn, someone should have slapped her.” I like oddity, but she`s odd and ugly and can`t perform… not a good combination in her case.

  24. Ezziewezzie says:

    Thom Yorke!! Deffo!

  25. RHF says:

    has to be either thom yorke or beck, or maybe rivers cuomo if you weant to go all out weird.

  26. A says:

    Hm… Seal, perhaps?

  27. melodiousdrone says:

    JOHN CUSACK! He can push my buttons any day…. No slapping Bjork!

  28. Hansel says:

    Derek Zoolander, he`s really really ridiculously goodlooking http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/GeneralPatton/Zoolander.jpg

  29. Hansel says:

    Derek Zoolander, he`s really really ridiculously goodlooking http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v429/GeneralPatton/Zoolander.jpg

  30. Ber says:

    I would have to say Johnny depp too…He`s got that so mysterious he`s uberly sexy thing going on. And, from what people say, he`s pretty weird. And if you really need the whole musician aspect..he`s doing the new willy wonka–so he must be able to sing unless its not a musical type.

  31. k8_fan says:

    Prince, definitely. As twisted as Johnny Depp can be, he`s just not the male equal to Bjork. One can easily imagine Bjork changing her name to an unpronouncable symbol and writing “Slave” on her face. By the way, everyone in America insists on pronouncing her name so it rhymes with “dork”. I`ve heard her pronounce her own name and it rhymes with “work”. That`s what the two little dots above the o indicate.

  32. parson says:

    thom yorke! please pick thom yorke! hes drop dead gorgeous, sighh….. i`ll drool over a picture of him any day.

  33. IsychosKore says:

    I will second the David Bowie nomination. Maybe Thin-White-Duke-Bowie.

  34. Shannon says:

    But… what about Steve Buscemi?

  35. annabelle says:

    prince or david bowie, fer sure

  36. Tshilla says:

    Michael Jackson– it`s just too weird.

  37. Etrigan says:

    Definately Michael Jackson

  38. anon. says:

    Funny, I was having a related discussion with a friend the other day… Not that I`ve any idea what he looks like but based solely on your equation the only possible anser is… The Orb.

  39. anon says:

    Duh. Beck.

  40. Nina G says:

    Possibly Trent Reznor. Their music both sounds surreal and abstract. Although Trent`s stuff is much louder and heavier, it is equally as complex. Plus, Trent`s HOT! 😉

  41. Elle says:

    Prince. I bet he would wear a swan dress.

  42. Pug says:

    Thom Yorke? Are you kidding. He`s the ugliest man alive.

  43. Bjorkstattoo says:

    No one will ever compare to Bjork.

  44. Rasputin says:

    Only Bjork….and Fabio is not Porny!Don`t degrade the beautiful man like that!

  45. kiki Mulase says:


  46. massages thoms thighs says:

    thom yorke is the ugliest man alive!?! nononono! why do people have to have different opinions than me? hes the sexiest man alive! (and most talented) look at these pictures http://www.maketradefair.com/en/index.php?file=dumped_thom.htm#

  47. supremegoddessofall says:

    i`m gonna have to agree with the thom-yorke-is-butt-ugly club…sorry…

  48. laur says:

    becks 2 hot to be a man bjork………..

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