I Need a Job

I need YOU to get me hired.
Probably my casual little blog isn’t the best place to go begging for a job, but it’s here and I can, so why not?

What I need:

  • A part-time job, at least $15/hour (I can only devote up to 35 hours/week).
  • Accomodating school schedule, which means I can work many hours some days and few other days. It also means I`m available nights and weekends, but not every night or weekend.
  • If a commute is necessary, it must be within or close to Winston-Salem, NC, 27127. See time issue.
  • No naked, illegal or unsafe.
  • No breathing cigarette smoke all night.

I`m a software developer by trade. I just haven’t been able to find a part-time position to accomodate my odd hours. I would love to do programming or consulting projects. I miss it.

Click for my resume (as a Word document)
Contact information has been removed from this copy for my protection. I will provide a complete copy and references upon request.

What else I can offer:

  • I type 80 WPM and make killer coffee.
  • I have experience as a writing tutor, as well as in copy-editing and technical writing.
  • Thanks to patient training from several friends, I am up to snuff in food preparation. I will cook you a meal like a crazy fool.
  • I don’t have certification as yet, but I`m a skilled amateur massage therapist.

If you find me a job lead that results in my employment, I will give you $50. I know that’s not a head-spinning amount of money, but it’s all I can pony up right now. This also works retroactively — I got a tip from Stagger Lee’s brother (via Stagger Lee) a few weeks ago, and if it pans out I intend to fulfill this bargain for her/him/whoever wins Indian leg wrestling for it.

Give me any advice/leads/mocking via email or the talkback below.

Whaddaya say? If this works, I`m going to try it for dating as well.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

You may also like...

No Responses

  1. staggerlee says:

    you know, what i should do is just give you his number because he is always looking for another job. my mom says he`s working construction and working at the chop house too…

  2. Dylock says:

    Have you tried monster.com? As for your dating life, there is an lds site at http://www.ldslinkup.com. But the internet is a meager source for dating, you might as well try real life too. Then you won`t get fake pictures/fake personalities/a date with someone 2000 miles away. -dylock@hotmail.com

  3. Tory says:

    Heh heh. monster.com is cool, and I`ve been checking it regularly, but I find it`s mostly full-time and semi-full-time stuff. I`m going to follow up on some ads from the local paper today — the funny thing is how underqualified I am for the things I want to do. Heh heh heh. I am ridiculous.

    Also, I`m afraid an LDS dude would be really, really disappointed with me, like the first time I order a vodka tonic. It is my determination that the kind of dude I`d like to date wouldn`t be looking for dates online, but they might have FRIENDS that get online, and there you are.

  4. Anonymous says:

    i might be able to pay you around $20/hour to help me write a content management system. i`m freelancing and have too much work (for once) and need it done pretty soon. i might also have some leads on other projects that we could collaborate on. i need someone with solid PHP/MySQL skills. i`ve emailed the address in your resume, just posting here to let you know. i`m near Chapel Hill. thanks.

  5. Alena says:

    I can`t help you with the J-O-B, but good luck. As for the dating thing, I`ve had a girlfriend application on my site for months and it certainly isn`t working for me. The good thing is I wrote it up and included it as mostly a joke, plus it`s not on the main site and I`ve never alluded to it in my blog, so my fragile ego isn`t terribly disturbed. However, you`re pretty cuteandsmartandfunny, so maybe you`d have better luck. Also I just wanted to say your humor test r0x0r. I don`t think it could have been more dead-on. Crazy. I`m a sophisticate and stuff with a 9/10 active humor rating. No, I`m not masturbating, I`m stroking my ego. thx.

  6. lady_in_the_radiator(at)yahoo says:

    Have you tried craigslist.org? You can select the nearest metropolitan city and there are new listings updated daily in different categories including part time.

  7. Tory says:

    Craigslist is very cool and a lot of fun to surf. Umm — now that I look at it again, I realize looking at the “Charlotte” listings would be a lot smarter for me than the “Raleigh” listings. Thank you for the reminder. I`m having good luck — thank all of you very much for your input.

  8. Charlie on the Pennsylvania Turnpike says:

    A pity you aren`t further north. I need someone with pretty much your qualifications (esp. killer coffee)….. but I suppose commuting to the greater-NJ/NY area is out of the question.

  9. staggerlee says:

    speaking of the job thang, i need your help: what do you know about copy editing, using quark express on MacOs (i`m currently tasked out to the fort stewart/3d ID newspaper, trying to un-rat-fuck their computers)?

  10. Tory says:

    Ooh — Quark was what we used to edit the newspaper at school (the first time), and I was an editor there, too (though I`d have to refresh myself about the right marks to make and things, not that I was real diligent about that the first time.) So, hell`s yeah, I can help you out. I think.

%d bloggers like this: