She Blinded Me With Sinus

Heh heh. It was either that or “My Sinus Project,” but it didn’t involve Fisher Stevens and a quart of bronzer, so no.

It was a sinus infection. With a dash of boring old bronchitis and a jigger of ear infection. Any body part the doctor looked in, he said “Ew.” And I was like, OMG Summer can I borrow your Sevens ple-e-ease? The funny part is I’ve apparently lost six pounds (of mucus, I assume) with this ailment, so now I am fashion phlegm.

But a steady regimen of Amoxycillin and ice cream sandwiches is slowly getting me back in the pink. Yay for urgent care!

I could get into details of how very yecky this sickness was/is. I was hoping for some good ol` pneumonia, `cause that’s kind of my thing. I`m always getting some pneumonia, and it makes me feel romantic and Moulin Rouge and I`m-yo-Huckleberrah. But sinus infection? Catherine wasn’t torn from Heathcliff by a sinus infection. That’s all I`m saying.

So suddenly I want to hear about your most disgusting health experience. What Alien-Resurrection-style goo-fest put you in touch with your mortality? It’s after Thanksgiving — I think we’re cleared to speak of the disgusting again.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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46 Responses

  1. staggerlee says:

    the irony is the month after i mentioned the mono, i got it again. weird.

  2. Alena says:

    Well, there was the time when I was 12 at fat camp when I somehow contracted strep throat and they didn`t believe me (they thought I was trying to get out of exercise). When I started crying from the pain, they started understanding and let me go to bed with some OJ. A few hours later, I was up to a 105 degree fever, so they quarantined me in a staff apartment. In my delerium, I remember them really freaking out and not understanding why (for some reason they wouldn`t tell me my fever was 105 until later), other than I knew I had a fever. They put me in a cold bath and when that didn`t help, I was taken to a doctor the next morning. Delerium is freaky, and I kept falling asleep in the waiting room. I remember the doctor giving me a shot and because I had my eyes closed, I could barely feel it and it felt a million miles away.

  3. Alena says:

    Lemme tell ya, they sure felt bad about not believing me.. and while eating normal food hurt my throat too much, I was allowed whatever I could consume.. lots of cold OJ and ice milk. BTW.. strep throat rrrrreeeaaalllly is teh suckage. Plus I guess when someone has a 105 degree fever for nearly 24 hours, it`s kinda scary.. cause when I got better, they gave me the nickname `The Queen of Hearts`, because, according to one counselor, they were all very worried and afraid for me. Or something. I really wanted to tell about the time I was so constipated I had to go to the ER, but I thought this story was more a propos regarding mortality and such. 😛

  4. supremegoddessofall says:

    one word: mono.

    end of story. if you have not had it, you simply cannot relate.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I was at girl scout camp when I was 11 and had bacon grease splash up from the campfire onto my leg. Burned me up bad. They wouldn`t give me any painkillers for fear I`d be allergic and they wouldn`t call my mom or let me call her, probably because they feared being sued. So I spent like 3 days in the infirmary with nothing to do and in big time pain until the fourth day when they made me participate in the activities and go back to camp. Problem was, it was a sports-themed camp so every morning you had to go swimming. Burns on leg + chlorine is very, very painful. When my mom came to pick me up a few days later, she was hella pissed. Don`t know why she didn`t sue. Evil girl scout camp.

  6. Katie says:

    I had a horrible sore throat about 2 years ago that kept me out of work for the week. Couldn`t eat anything but I kept myself medicated, unfortunately, with too much aspirin. The aspirin ripped up my stomach and again, I coudn`t go to work or eat anything for another week. I had to sit with a “puke bowl” because my stomach would just surprise me periodically. Lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks, it was sad that part had to end…

  7. KiraMarie says:

    Mine was a bout of Mono that landed me in the hospital for 6 days. My throat was coated in this yucky white puss, and was pretty much closed up. All I could eat was liquids, and they were worried that I would rupture my spleen b/c of my massive infection. I think I lost like 20 lbs from lack eating. I do not recommend getting mono, ever!

  8. staggerlee says:

    i can`t decide… i can tell you that i didn`t enjoy mono, i lost a pisspot of weight (i think that`s like a pisspot full of money but not as good), and i was on bed rest for a month because my spleen nearly ruptured, although because of the reduced liver function i could drink a beer and be drunk for two days (mono be damned, i was gonna drink anyway!).

  9. staggerlee says:

    however, when i first arrived at fort stewart, i had two scary things happen back to back. i think i had been there for maybe two weeks, when i got invited to a beach party (stewart`s about 50 mins from tybee island) that was more animal house than beach blanket bingo. i had a bit of abdominal pain, but i was thinking maybe cramps or something. didn`t really think much about it. so after many cups of PJ, i was so drunk that was seeing triple, and now my pain is so bad that it was messing up my drunk (nothing like being drunk and in pain). so i`m getting scared, thinking maybe i have appendicitis or something, but i thought maybe if i go to sleep, it will be better in the morning. the next day, i woke up in chills, with bloody projectile vomiting (and the related aftermath) and with a painful abdominal knot that could be felt through the skin. i gave up, and went to the ER that morning. unfortunately, that was also my birthday. got admitted, turns out i have a serious case of GE

  10. staggerlee says:

    case of GERD, but they wanted to keep me for further observation. two days later, this shaman comes in (to this day, i don`t think he was a real doctor), takes one look at my eyes (which don`t hurt), and declares i have hepatitis because of my jaundiced whites of my eyes. the whites of my eyes have never been, well white. the only problem is, thanks to the goodness of army medicine, and my prior duty station of korea, i`ve been throughly vaccinated against hep A and B. so now i get to call my girlfriend at the time (who was in the process of breaking up with me) and tell her that i might have hepatitis C and she`s the only person i could have gotten it from. needless to say, i didn`t have hep C, and if i didn`t drink everclear while eating spicy popeye`s chicken and 911 wings at hooters, none of this would have ever happened.

  11. D says:

    Ehhh… Seasickness was the worst for me. Two days into a nine day research cruise on the ugliest trawler you`ve ever seen. The joke about seasickness is also the awful truth – first you`re afraid you`re gonna die, then you`re afraid you`re not.

  12. MustangBaby says:

    We were getting ready to move the summer before freshman year of high school and evidently one of the movers decided he needed to work even though he had the flu (he failed to mention that to us until later), which of course I ended up catching. After years of avoiding puking I woke up one night really sick to my stomach, not sure which end it was going to come from. I laid by the toilet in the bathroom for a few minutes until I felt really bad, sat up and puked a few times. When I was done shaking I went back to sleep on the floor, lying on my back. Next day I was still feeling way sick, only this time it was nothing but the runs, nothing but straight liquid coming from the backside plus a fever. When they finally packed all our stuff, we had to go to a hotel, where I did nothing but stay in bed, where I already felt like I was going to die and making frequent trips to the porcelaine throne, including throughout the night. The next day, as if lying in bed didn`t feel bad enough

  13. MustangBaby says:

    we had a 7 hour drive to our new residence, once again needing frequent stops. Finally we got to the new hotel, where I continued to feel like I was on my deathbed. Took me about half a week to get over it, at which time I ate 2 plain bagels while my family was out enjoying a nice meal a nearby restaraunt. The worst part was I couldn`t get any food down and I could barely drink, I wasn`t dehydrated, but I also couldn`t get the toilet issues to stop. I was in agony. Needless to say, I definitely lost a few pounds from that too.

  14. olliiviia says:

    speaking of mono and drinking.. i have mono now & i`ve read so many articles advising me not to because of liver damage, and i`ve also heard conflicting personal stories. somone told me they got really, really drunk when they had it, and someone else said they felt sick like no other. it`s really tempting to drink.. but is it worth it?

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