Name a Formative Hottie. Survey Says…

All right. I’ve subjected you to my girlish, foaming treatise on The Rock. And I have it on good authority that y`all are full of diverse and hilarious experience, so I gotta ask you something:

Who was the first person that made you realize you like [girls/boys]?

As I mentioned in the article above, for me it was Lou Ferrigno as the Incredible Hulk. Not that I understood it was a sexual thing — and at the tender age I was watching the show it probably wasn’t. All I knew was that big green dude with the long pectoral cleavage held my attention in a way completely other than, say, The Mysterious Cities of Gold.

Bonus points for celebrities. If you realized you liked girls from peeping on your cousin changing clothes, I don’t really want to hear about it.

If you like girls and boys about equally, feel free to post twice.

Movies of 1984

Maybe, thanks in part to a busty hammer thrower in Hooters shorts, 1984 wasn’t like 1984. But the movies at least signified a brave new world. Marvel at the blockbusting and influential hits of 1984 (imDb much?).

  • Amadeus (Milos Forman REPPERSENT!)
  • Beverly Hills Cop
  • Breakin` AND Breakin` 2: Electric Boogaloo (without which I would have nothing to say compulsively after “something too”)
  • Children of the Corn (which starred Linda Hamilton, in case you forgot)
  • Dune
  • Fame
  • Footloose
  • Ghostbusters
  • Gremlins
  • Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (incidentally this year also saw porn parody “Indiana Joan and the Black Hole of Mammoo.” I don’t get it. Please don’t explain it to me.)
  • Johnny Dangerously
  • Karate Kid (that’s the last time I go to a costume party dressed as plumbing)
  • The Last Starfighter
  • A Nightmare on Elm Street
  • Police Academy
  • Revenge of the Nerds
  • Romancing the Stone (complemented by “Romancing the Bone” — ewww.)
  • Sixteen Candles
  • Starman
  • The Terminator
  • This is Spinal Tap

Also kickin` years for movies were 1982, 1985 and 1987. Maybe I`ll do those later.

I`d like to add I saw “Baby” in imDb’s 1984 list and thought it was 1985’s Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, which teaches best the lesson that if you’re going to have an animatronic dinosaur in your movie you need to have it eating people instead of driving a dry, overwrought Ferngully plot. But it wasn’t.

Anyway, while I`m at it, here’s the influential and wacky stuff that started on TV in 1984:

  • Airwolf
  • Charles in Charge
  • Kate & Allie
  • Kidd Video
  • Kids Incorporated
  • Miami Vice
  • Muppet Babies
  • Murder, She Wrote (gawd, my parents watched this show alla time)
  • Night Court (Dan Fielding, mmm — John Larroquette before he morphed into Oliver Platt. I still remember the one where he gave Roz her insulin shot on the roof. Best. Plot about diabetes. Ever.)
  • Out of Control (Nickelodeon, but still)
  • Punky Brewster
  • The Snorks
  • Spitting Image (bring it back!)
  • Tales from the Darkside
  • V
  • Who’s the Boss? (Saman-tuhhhh! Angel-uhhh! Mon-uhhh!)

Hoo doggie. Am I Janice Soprano? Because I am regressing. What shows and movies am I forgetting?


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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No Responses

  1. Cristiane says:

    My first crush was definitely Ray Davies of the Kinks. I was six years old, they were on Top of the Pops (we were living in London at the time), and he was wearing skinny trousers, a velvet jacket and a lace shirt. Sigh.

  2. astarael says:

    The first one I can remember was Jonathon Brandis on Seaquest ^_^ Although I stop liking him when I heard he was disdainful of younger girls who sent him fan mail.

  3. brykMantra says:

    Joey Heatherton. I was about 13, and she`d walk on to the Dean Martin show, and I`d be like, Damn, is it getting warm in here?? Same for Charo, especially in Hoochie-Koochi mode.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Princess Leia. Bar none. I was 4 years old and had stiffy for the rest of my life.

  5. Byron says:

    While I`m pretty sure I liked girls before this, My first was my Kindergarten teacher. And she even had a pervertedly sexy name too. Ms Sweat. No kidding. She was FINE AS HELL! I was 5. I still see her once in a while today. She is still pretty hot … to be 50+ that is! (I`m 36.) There was also a little girl named Kelly in kindergarten who was pretty nice too, and I don`t know who I noticed first. ????

  6. megan says:

    when i was about 7, nickelodeon showed reruns of the monkees and i watched them religiously. i developed quite a crush on the young davey jones. later that year, my dad was watching a new year`s eve special and called me into the living room because “the guy from the monkees is on tv”. and there he was, in all his 50-something year old glory, wrinkles, gray hair and all…yeah, i was pretty scarred by that. by the way, i had completely forgotten about the cities of gold. holy shit. i remember wishing i was that inca girl.

  7. christinetastic says:

    wow jonathan brandis was my first one too!!!! i absolutely loved that show seaquest 🙂 didnt he die earlier this year??

  8. astarael says:

    I think so…

  9. julie says:

    I was 15 when the show Northern Exposure made its debut. To that point, I knew I was hetero for the most part, but 2 guys on that show clinched it – the nice, neurotic, Jewish doctor and the philosophical, adventurous DJ. Rob Morrow and John Corbett. Hybridize those two and you have my perfect man, who apparently exists in real life – my fiancee. He`s not a doctor and he`s not a DJ, but he is nice, neurotic, Jewish, philosophical, adventurous, and above all else CUTE, in that way. There you go. Formative experience in a nutshell. I found out I liked girls too from Penthouse when I was 9. Er. `Nuff said.

  10. Michael says:

    Tawny Kitaen. Wow.

  11. Tory says:

    Rock on! I crushed strongly on John Corbett as well. Also Scott “Oh boy” Bakula. Yeah, I saw Necessary Roughness in the theater.

  12. earlyr says:

    I already liked girls before this (I mean, I was sent to the other side of the room by my preschool teacher for kissing my “girlfriend” Jennifer) but Linda Carter as Wonder Woman just took my breath away. If I didn`t get to watch that show I would throw a total temper tantrum.

  13. Kat says:

    I liked Gopher on the Love Boat. No, really.

  14. JB says:

    The first time that I knew that men were for me was when first saw Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck in those sexy little white shorts and that mustache…PRETTY BABY!!!! Of course there was the John Schnieder on the Dukes of Hazard. He definately was just a good ol` boy in some nice tight jeans.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Sad to say, but Vincent from Beauty and the Beast (yeah, the Linda Hamilton one…) rocked my world…

  16. Kat says:

    I just realized the other day that Ricky Schroeder when he was on Silver Spoons was actually my real first crush. Duh.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I actually realized both at the same time. I used to watch “Remington Steele” and crushed on both Pierce Brosnan and Stephanie Zimbalist. Now that was a great show for having hot stars! 🙂 BTW, I think I was like 4 or 5 when it started, so around that age.

  18. stagger lee says:

    both at the same time: prince and apollonia in purple rain. nuff said.

  19. Scarlet Ibis says:

    Robert Smith was (and still is) my first HUGE crush. I think I had some tiny crushes before that… Um… I thought Gopher from The Love Boat was cute too. I`m so ashamed of that now. Then it was John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino… Oh, I`m revealing my age now. I should have just left it at Robert Smith, but I have this need to be honest. Damn morals and values.

  20. Stacky says:

    i had an amazingly gigantic crush on Zack Morris from Saved By the Bell. Not Mark Paul What-sis-name (the actor who played him) but the character. I even named my fighting fish after him. Heh.

  21. Eleri says:

    1st? um…Rick Moranis. (ha!) Dean Stockwell (haha!), and then Scott Bakula. uh…Richard Lewis was a little later, but I was still a kid. Same with Rob Morrow (had it baaad for him) and Miles on “Murphy Brown” — Grant Shaud. Dood. That led to Woody Allen and then my l`il adolescent brain shorted out on nebbishy cuteness and I ended up bonkers for Prince. o_O They all still have a special place in my heart. Girls weren`t even on my radar until I`d pretty much exited adolescence. 🙁

  22. Melanthe says:

    Another Bo Duke here. Those tight jeans and that halo of blonde curls … My mom tells me that I used to kiss the TV when he came on. I was attracted to very harmless, boyish guys for a long time. Now I have learned to appreciate the more rugged, manly types. Like my boyfriend — 6`4″, dark hair, great eyes, clean shaven, chest hair galore. Rowr!

  23. Angela says:

    I had a crush on Jonthan Brandis when I was young too. But when I found out he was going out with Tatyana Ali I stopped crunching on him. But he was my first preteen crush when I was like 7 yrs. old. I wonder if tatyana know if Jonathan Brandis died?

  24. Cecily says:

    Well , I thought for a while, (almost ten years), that I was some kind of gay person, because I didnt feel anything for anyone. But then I saw Robert Smith from the Cure on TV and got in love with him.I had a crush on Robert Smith, well I think hes too cute,

  25. Wayne says:

    I came across this site looking for anything on John Shnieder because I saw Dukes of Hazzard on TV tonight and it reminded me of how I used Love that Blondie and his Tight Jeans

  26. Amy says:

    Andy Gibb and Shawn Cassidy **sigh** I was also head over heels for Almanzo on `Little House on the Prairie` . I soooo wanted to be Laura Ingalls!

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