Annoying Things I Do, Volume Nine

You know what I do a lot? When someone mentions a movie, I feel the need to announce the circumstances under which I saw or didn’t see that movie. Like, “That? I saw that in the theater.” Or, “That? I didn’t see that until last year.”

And I fully expect this information to grip the listener with fascination. “You saw a major motion picture while it was in theaters?! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS. PLEASE TELL ME MORE.”

It is a compulsion, like a kind of pop-culture attention-clamoring Tourette’s. If you have been interrupted mid-story to be informed that I did not see “Gremlins” until college, I AM SO SORRY. I am trying to cut back.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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