RedReplicant on the Next Pony Generation
While I am sure you got plenty of responses on this delicate issue, it
upsets me so much that I thought I might as well put my two cents in.
Your theory about flutterponies may be right. The skinnied-down ponies were nowhere near as beautiful as the regular chunky ponies. However, they aren’t nearly as bad as the current ponies! The new ponies are the most terrible toy ever popular, possibly worse than Furbies. They absolutely ruined several of the great aspects of old ponies.
[Tee hee — check out my ghetto-fabulous ankle tattoo! Wanna buy me a Zima? – T]
- 1. They lack opacity. Clear-ish horses have never been as good as
opaque horses. You may recall the “clear-horse She-Ra” debacle.
[Noble steed + Slim Goodbody = Deleted scene from The Cell – T]
Clear Swift Wind sucked balls compared to normal pink Swift Wind, although I
will admit to buying it because as an 8 year old I was fascinated by New Toy
Acquisition. But the problem is, I think, that horses by nature are
SUPPOSED to look sturdy and solid. They don’t look good clear. Partly
this is because you can see the rooted hair sometimes if they’re clear, but
I think it’s just a terrible idea on the whole. The picture [at the top of this feature] is one of the most opaque ponies and it still looks stupid and cheap — maybe it’s
the glitter, or possibly the ugly ass color scheme.
- 2. Their heads are now GIGANTIC compared to their bodies. I think
they’re going for the currently popular Anime aesthetic. You will
notice that there are no ponies on anime shows because ponies look stupid with giant, giant heads and eyes.
3. Their hoofs aren’t right. I remember my ponies had beautiful smooth
hoofs and the legs tapered in from them. No more. They are very
clunky and unwieldy-looking now.
These new ponies are sickly looking and cheap as hell due to their
glaring lack of vinyl. It sickens me. I bet I could tear a hole in their
tacky plastic bodies with my fingernail. They remind me of the old knock-off
ponies from the 80’s. Although sadly now the knock-offs are even
In addition, the art for the new ponies is so terribly ugly. I
remember my old coloring books having beautiful pony art. Now it is like Lisa
Frank on speed.