Bruce Campbell Shoulda Been The Phantom

As I was re-reading Bruce Campbell’s autobiography, If Chins Could Kill, I was reminded of the fact that Bruce Campbell was thisclose to being cast as The Phantom. Holy crap. I`m not sure why they decided against him — not only would it have had a built-in cult base to supplement the WWII fogey and little kid Phantom fans, but it would have been a better movie.

Now I know Bruce Campbell is well capable of being straight (The Ice Rink) and earnest (Bubba Ho Tep; but what The Phantom needed desperately, with its Mortal Kombat-level story and special effects (and the Mortal Kombat villain — OMG typecast much Johnny Tsunami?!; was a heaping helping of the Campbell special — gleeful, ingratiating self-awareness. He would have brought out the Buffy in Kristy Swanson and the Velma in Catherine Zeta Jones. He would have been deft with exposition, sly with humor and swash with buckles. And he woulda been smokin` hot.

Hey, you’re not Billy Zane WTF?!
Kristy, I like to be Straight and Earnest with the ladies…

Please understand I`m not Captain Stalker of the Stalkatron 3000 — I’ve tried to diversify my fangirlness with Vincent D`Onofrio and Jeff Goldblum, but the former seems too self-fascinated (Velocity of Gary blecch) and the latter kinda hit the wall. There’s also Jon Stewart, but he’s just too rockin` to be believed. I think on weekends he must give kittens cancer or something.

Anyway, now that I’ve made a reference to Long Kiss Goodnight, you know who else would have made a good Phantom? Samuel L. Jackson. Think about it.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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3 Responses

  1. sabrina says:

    I must say that I totally agree with you. Bruce Campbell rocks and he makes any movie he is in way better. There are people like me who would go and watch any movie just to catch even a snippet of him. I really don’t think that the same can be said about Billy Zane. No wonder the movie tanked. But ahh, cest la vie Bruce dosen’t dwell on parts he didn’t get so we shouldn’t either.

  2. Neb says:

    I forgot about that casting mention in “Chins”. What a flick that would have been! Hello, BTW! Neb (aka Nancy Frye)

  3. Melanthe says:

    To choose between Bruce Campbell and Billy Zane … AUGH! But I have to support Billy here because he hardly ever gets to play a guy who isn`t a complete jerk. So I`m glad he got this one chance. Bruce is really the coolest, though.

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