Magic Cookie Bars

These are stoopid easy to make, and that’s why I like making them. You’ve probably seen them or had them before or maybe had a boyfriend whose roommate used to get them from his mom and then you`d compulsively eat half of them when no one was around. Not that I know anything about that or make them as penance.

Sorry the instructions are all English measurements, but being American I am way too lazy to go metric.

You will need:

  • 13 x 9 glass baking dish
  • 1 stick butter
  • 1 package graham crackers (1/3 box)
  • Bag o` chopped walnuts
  • Bag o` semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • * Bag o` butterscotch chips – optional
  • Bag o` sweetened coconut flakes
  • 1 can of sweetened, condensed milk

Preheat your oven to 325 F for a glass dish (350 F for metal). When it’s good and hot, melt the butter in the dish. Meanwhile, crumble the graham crackers into a big-ass resealable bag and crush them into crumbs with a rolling pin.

Once the butter is melted, swish it around the dish a bit to grease the sides, and then put the dish on the most level (heatproof) surface you’ve got. Sprinkle the graham crackers evenly over the butter.

Sprinkle a layer of chopped walnuts (you`ll probably use only 1/2 to 2/3 of the bag, depending on how much you like walnuts.)

Sprinkle a layer of chocolate chips (you`ll probably use almost the whole bag.) Then a layer of butterscotch chips, if you are so inclined.

Sprinkle a layer of coconut. Then pour the condensed milk in stripes over the whole thing.

Bake for 25-30 minutes or until mostly golden brown on top.

Don’t be like me — wait for it to cool completely before you try to cut it. I usually cut it with a Big Nife and then scoop them out with a thin metal spatula (pancake-turner spatula, not icing spatula.)


Now you have magic cookie bars as addictive as meth but way more fattening. Awesome.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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