What`s Happening to Star Wars? Survey Says…

Okay. I was innocently reading reviews on Rotten Tomatoes when I saw some gossip briefs about Star Wars: Episode III. Oh what the crap…

  • Gary Oldman plays a robotic character called “General Grievous.” At one point he gets in a fist-fight with Ewan MacGregor. Okay. “Darth Sidious” and even “Darth Tyranus” I can get behind. Not even “Count Dooku” bothers me. But “General Grievous”? In a movie? Is this Mighty Morphin Star Wars? Hrm — he’s not listed on IMDb, so maybe I`m full of crap.
  • It’s got a lot of Maori in it. A LOT. Keisha Castle-Hughes, even. Now, you know about me and the Pacific Islanders, but isn’t this really jarring? Especially since there’s only one non-white dude anywhere from Episode IV to Episode VI. Did the Empire Ceausescu everybody? I don’t know if Jar Jar and genocide belong in the same movie.
  • There are Wookiees. Apparently they are not digital. Rock.

Today’s question is, what is going on with Star Wars? What’s the buzz? Is anyone else scared?


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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33 Responses

  1. Sabacthani says:

    I feel the burning, spiteful apathy that only a former die-hard fan can know. I used to own an AT-AT. I was battery powered, and…

  2. Anonymous says:

    it`s just a movie. the originals were classics, but these new ones theyve been making dont appeal to me. i think i only watched the first one of the new ones, and/or the one with jar ajr “and/or both” and they [intensive adjective] suck. especially the jarjar one. [vulgar verb] jar jar`s creator

  3. ChaosFaerie says:

    George Lucas had a really good idea with the first trilogy. Return of the Jedi, was slightly cheesy, but permissable. Then, over the years, people developed his original brainchild into an ever-expanding universe of charaters and races. He doesn`t know how to handle that big of a , so he has to resort to cheesy special effects, bad romance plotlines(side note: did anyone else think “The Sound of Music” in the meadow scene in episode 2?), and names that make twelve year old smartasses giggle.

  4. RedReplicant says:

    George Lucas has too much money now– he`s crazy like a fox and nobody can stop him. He`s never been good at controlling his creations. He needs somebody else to direct and edit him. Star Wars is a lost cause. General Grevious… at least we didn`t get “Darth Nnocuous”

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