CNN: Cheney Gives Speech, Makes Me Crazy

obama_cheney

I dunno if “Cheney slams Obama” is entirely accurate. When I think “slam” I think of the WWE, and this speech seems to be more about slippery logic and bad ethics, which is not the same.

I will rebut Cheney’s crappy arguments with what John McCain said perfectly in 2005: “They don’t deserve our sympathy. But this isn’t about who they are. This is about who we are.”

What I’ve learned from Cheney’s speech is the next time I want to question someone’s decisions I will start by saying “I think so-and-so has a Tribble living in his nose” and then describe how a Tribble up one’s nose jeopardizes national security. Then my audience will be so persuaded by my anti-Tribble arguments they will forget I pulled the whole accusation OUT OF MY FEVERED BRAIN.

In other news, check out how the photo illustration makes Obama look all Lincoln-y and Cheney look like someone I would chase off my yard with a bat. Is it weird that Cheney looks the same age as he did ten years ago? This man isn’t exactly the picture of health, either, unless that picture is Dorian Gray.

***Update ***

CNN changed the photo illustration — I think maybe to put accuser Cheney on the left? — and now it is even awesomer.

obama_cheney_2

Tory

Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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