I Have An Opinion

I haven’t had much to say on the presidential race because I’m not keeping informed enough to say anything… you know… informed. Obama versus Clinton seems like a win-win to me — and a totally different set of choices than 2004’s Kerry/Edwards meh-meh. I

said I’d give up pretending to know what voters will do after 2004. I’ve given it up — but I still like to do it. I have a lot of vices like that.

And there’s McCain. I forgot about McCain like some people forgot about Dre. For months I was like, “The Republicans have nobody! Nobody! No one would elect any of these yahoos!” And a friend would say, “What about McCain?” And I’d be like, “Oh, yeah, McCain… I forgot about him.”

Mmm… How can I say this?

One, I’m a yellow dog Democrat. And I’m super jazzed to have two human candidates this year instead of yellow dogs. PLEASE RUN TOGETHER OKAY PLEASE I’LL MAKE T-SHIRTS THAT SAY “WELCOME TO THE O/C” OKAY?

Two, I like both Clinton and Obama better than McCain by a country mile. I’m just being real.

And, three, certainly if you point out that McCain is weak this or that, so I should rather staple my eyes closed than be okay with him being president, I totally feel you.

But I would sleep okay at night with McCain as president.

I’d almost like an alternate reality where McCain gets to be president for one week, just so he can go into the committees that are approving torture practices in American facilities, and BREAK SOME G-D- HEADS.

You know who’s a good person to uphold Geneva Convention? A FORMER FRICKIN’ POW.

If they televised it, I would watch it. I would scream at the screen like it was an action movie. I would be cheering and probably crying from the moment McCain walked in the door til he left.

And then I hope he’d hop a flight to Crawford, Texas and throw George W. over his knee and spank him ’til he cried.

That’s probably not a nice thing to hope. But I hope it.

But every other week ’til 2012 is all for the O/C.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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1 Response

  1. drew says:

    Actually, McCain came out as pro-torture last week. Also: he is very old. Countries should celebrate centennials, not people.

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