First Presidential Debate

Remember that time Kerry pwned Bush in the presidential debate? That was awesome. Honestly, I didn’t know he had it in him. I keep hearing that Kerry’s better when he can come from behind, and he’s won all his races by pulling out the stops at the last minute (that’s certainly what he did to take Iowa). If this is true, then I am for it.

Here are some of my favorite moments from the first debate.

  • Bush calls Jim Lehrer “Jeff.” I swear to God. It was the first time he called Jim by name. The transcripts have cleaned this up, but I know what I heard. It set the tone.
  • Bush on fighting terrorism: “It’s hord. It’s hord work.” I know SNL and the whole world has already been over this, but LAWDAMIGHTY. And I think this could probably have been pulled off if someone was saying it like, “We’re on top of it, and this is something you can’t handle.” But Bush was saying so whiny and so many times it sounded like a sixth-grade girl complaining about the flexed-arm hang.
  • Trying to win the peace in Iraq (if I can be so generous as to presume that’s what Bush is doing) is also “tough. It’s hord work. It’s incredibly hord.” Maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard if Bush’s people had bothered to have 1) a plan, 2) a budget, 3) support from someone besides Poland. Or maybe, I dunno, if we pressed on with getting Osama and stabilizing Afghanistan, and left Iraq the hell alone.
  • Bush uses the fact that there are people in Iraq bombing us and shooting at us as evidence that we had good reason to be there. Um. So is this like, if I slap you, and you slap me back, that’s proof I had reason to slap you in the first place? But let’s take a look at the quote, because it’s so mangled and stupid: “The enemy understands a free Iraq will be a major defeat in their ideology of hatred. That’s why they’re fighting so vociferously. They showed up in Afghanistan when they were there because they tried to beat us, and they didn’t. And they’re showing in Iraq for the same reason.” Mmm, mangle-icious. Also, I`d like to point out that the “vociferous”-ness of our opposition in Iraq is not a problem as much as the “bombing and shooting”-ness.
  • Said Bush, “The best way to protect this homeland is to stay on the offense.” What? I`m sorry, what? He says it again: “I repeat to my fellow citizens, the best way to protect you is to stay on the offense.” What is this, Friday Night Lights? If you want to keep your home safe, you don’t spend all your time and resources blowing up a home in another state that never did anything to you ever.

I didn’t see the VP debate because I had class. (“Why don’t you call me sometime when you… have no class.” Rodney Dangerfield, I loved you well). So any feedback from people who did see it would be most welcome.

Don’t forget the next one is Friday, apparently at 9:00 PM on ABC. Town hall. That should be funny. And maybe, oh, I dunno, some domestic issues. Rock. On.

Oh, and I saw Dennis Miller on Leno last night. Boy, does he suck. He’s become like an awful right-wing latter-day Robin Williams — hirsute, sweaty, and spewing a non-stop string of over-prepared material like Teddy Ruxpin. There’s no interaction, no off-the-cuff remarks (and Leno killed by ad-libbing that floundering Toys R Us is more like “Toys Were Us.” The audience preferred a live reaction to Dennis` static routine that Dennis had to skip his scripted joke!)

Gordon Gano + Anthony LaPaglia = Bad Dennis


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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13 Responses

  1. stagger lee says:

    oh i did watch the veep debate while i was taking my intro to networking class… and it was kinda sad. at least cheney sounded like a genius compared to bush. john edwards related a sad story about education, something about his father watching/doing math on pbs so he could get a better job at the mill (i thought once you worked at a mill, it pretty much sucked. didn`t know there were degrees of suck when it comes to factory work.) and stuff. and je said something about gay marriage, and cheney thanked him with his kind words about his daughter. and some other stuff, but i don`t really have room here.

  2. Sanguinity says:

    Actually, Bush called him Ted. At least that`s what we remember. But whatever name he did use, it sure-as-hell wasn`t Mr. Lehrer`s actual name. As to the upcoming Town Hall debate — I can`t say how happy I am that Bush will finally face a “Town Hall” where all the attendants didn`t begin by signing loyalty oaths to him!

  3. rearly says:

    Cheney scored some major points on Kerry`s defense record and the Dems� multiple positions on Iraq, and Edwards didn`t come close to deflecting those attacks. However, Edwards did an excellent job blasting Bush and Cheney on not leveling with (i.e. lying to) the American people. I called it a draw on this section of the debate last night, but the obvious Cheney falsehoods that come up since then just reinforces Edwards` critique so I might have to give Edwards a slight edge. On domestic issues, Edwards won in a cakewalk. Edwards was sharp, presenting clear alternatives on policy while constantly attacking Bush and Cheney for their failures of the past four years. All too often Cheney wouldn`t even answer the question, and he kept going off on tangents making it obvious that his mastery of the facts of what was going on in America was almost non-existent. “Oh, the African American population has a much higher rate of AIDS cases? Gosh, I didn`t know that.” Edwards attacked Bush on h

  4. rearly says:

    Edwards attacked Bush on health care costs, poverty, unemployment, the budget deficit, and other topics, with little to no response from Cheney. He might as well have said, “yeah, you`ve got us there.” In reading a lot of analysis after the fact, I think that Cheney succeeded in re-energizing the base of the Republican party that was so listless from W�s stuttering debate last week. But Edwards connected with the independent voter much better, speaking directly to them in easy to understand language. I think we�ll see another point bump in the polls.

  5. stagger lee says:

    i don`t know about a whole point bump… do you remember the “heartbeat away” question, in which they were asked why they deserve to be a heartbeat away from the top office in the nation? it seemed like cheney hadn`t been paying attention to the past 4 years. and he should, since presidents that are elected in 0 years (years that end in 0, people) tend to die in office (thank you, for that kinda BS statement). plus both said they were against gay marriage. kerry/edwards just want equal standing, without the actual right to get married. dammit, i want the same rights as straight people: to get married for no reason, get a divorce, and take half of my spouse`s assets!! (j/k)

  6. Alena says:

    Tory, welcome back.. I was starting to jones. Anyhoo.. the `town hall debate` is kind of a joke. In the past, citizens attending were allowed a certain degree of freedom (with the moderator enforcing the rules as stipulated by the campaigns), which I think is good, not only for the ability to bring up testy issues candidates might be avoiding, but to see how well they can improvise. In this upcoming Town Hall, the format has been changed so that audience questioners will pre-submit their questions to the moderator, Charles Gibson of ABC. He has been instructed to cut the questioners off if the topic strays even slightly from their written one. Jon Stewart joked that it would be like any normal town hall meeting… if you live in Stepford. 😛

  7. Sanguinity says:

    Stagger — yeah, totally. This “separate but equal” stuff is pure bullshit. If it really was equal, then what is the point of having it be separate?

  8. Gertie Farish says:

    Re: the “town hall debate”–just one more symptom of why the League of Women Voters stopped sponsoring the presidential debates, declaring that the new and improved rules made them unable and unwilling to participate in “perpetuating a fraud on the American People.” Oh, and even though I`m usually just a lurker, I`m going to presume (and channel my mother) and say, Tory, where have you been? Tell us when you are going to disappear like that so we don`t worry.

  9. stagger lee says:

    all i know is, the legal dissolution of a marriage is a divorce, which is technically a lawsuit. what is the legal dissolution of a civil union? a non civil union? i`ve always wondered that, ever since the phrase “civil union” came to be. what next, straight and gay water fountains? some things i will never understand.

  10. Alena says:

    I had to work during the 2nd debate, and watched it online last night. Bush called Kerry “Senator Kennedy”. I swear. I rewatched it like five times just to be sure. “You know what? Senator Kennedy is the most liberal member of the senate..” Senator Kennedy? Wha?

  11. falchion says:

    Bush won the last debate fair nd square…the media mite say diff, but since the media is controlled by those damn demo`z..newayz…i have to admit that kerryz finishin speech was excellent after he got his ass together…but bush won by sheer compassion…remember the first rule of matter not what you say…only how you say it…u could be lyin ur ass off but bein eloquent and dramatic nd win the people…

  12. falchion says:

    Bush won the last debate fair nd square…the media mite say diff, but since the media is controlled by those damn demo`z..newayz…i have to admit that kerryz finishin speech was excellent after he got his ass together…but bush won by sheer compassion…remember the first rule of matter not what you say…only how you say it…u could be lyin ur ass off but bein eloquent and dramatic nd win the people…

  13. Tripichik says:

    Comcast`s new On-Demand video service is awesome if for no other reason than I can watch any of the pres/veep debates whenever I want, as often as I want, for free. Oh yeah, the anime and Monty Python offerings are cool too. I haven`t checked out any of the for-pay shows yet because there`s so much good free stuff. Of course that will probably change once they get enough people hooked on the service.

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