6 Blonde Actresses You Keep Confusing

Seems there are a lot of blue-eyed blonde actresses and models and model-actresses afoot. Even the most dedicated action film/bikini enthusiast might get confused. Let’s clear things up. In no particular order:


Amber Heard

10 out of 10 on the haughtiness scale

Born : 1986
Height : 5’8″
From : Austin, Texas
You know her from : Pineapple Express, Drive Angry, Zombieland
Distinguishing feature(s) : Green eyes; excellent haughtiness; involvement with Amnesty International; coming out as gay in 2010
Secret weapon : Really, really good hair.


Alice Eve

No one can make fun of British teeth anymore

Born : 1982
Height : 5’5″
From : Los Angeles and London sort of equally
You know her from : Star Trek Into Darkness, She’s Out of My League, Entourage
Distinguishing feature(s) : One green eye and one blue eye; many convincing accents; chiseled jawline
Secret weapon : Ability to do exploitative scenes with a straight face


Teresa Palmer

How come Australians are great at American accents and not vice versa?

Born : 1986
Height : 5’4″
From : Adelaide, Australia
You know her from : Warm Bodies, I Am Number Four, Take Me Home Tonight
Distinguishing feature(s) : Pet kangaroos; resembling Kristen Stewart; ability to run convincingly
Secret weapon : Making you feel feels


Beachy as all heck

Beachy as all heck

Born : 1987
Height : 5’9″
From : Charlotte, North Carolina
You know her from : Battleship, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, New Girl, Sports Illustrated
Distinguishing feature(s) : SI swimsuit model five years in a row; sticking out bad roles
Secret weapon : Transforming into a brunette


Elisha Cuthbert

Had to wear the same outfit for 10 weeks

Born : 1982
Height : 5’2″
From : Calgary, Alberta, Canada
You know her from : 24, The Girl Next Door, Happy Endings
Distinguishing feature(s) : Chin cleft; dramatic range out the yin yang; very endearing front teeth situation
Secret weapon : Cute feet


Kate Upton

Height advantage

Born : 1992 dear God she was born in 1992 she is younger than Nevermind
Height : 5’10”
From : St. Joseph, Michigan
You know her from : Tower Heist, Sports Illustrated, Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s commercials
Distinguishing feature(s) : Height; mole above her lip; bikini readiness
Secret weapon : Championship horse riding; making you feel old


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

You may also like...

1 Response

  1. anne says:

    pretty sure amber is bisexual

%d bloggers like this: