Upon Turning Thirty

Socrates looks a little like Oliver Reed.

My sister turned 33 this year, and expressed that she felt pressure to accomplish much, due to this is, you know, the age Jesus died. My sister is the Grand High Poobah of awesome, so you know any presh in excess of this is really gratuitous.

Anyhoo. Today I turn thirty, and I am full of knowledge. Sit at my knee, my children, and learn my wisely wise wisdom for the best quality life:

  • Two drinks is enough drinks.
  • Do what you love – or you will just need a do-over later. If you find a thing (or things) you would rather do than eat, that is the thing you should do. The money will come.
  • As Pop Pop said, make sure your outgo is less than your income. You can be comfortable on $20K, and you can make $60K and still be broke at the end of each month. I know. I HAVE DONE EET.
  • You can’t control people. People are not bound by your expectations, no matter how reasonable those expectations seem. It is best to accept (and love) people the way they are, as God loves us the way we are. (An expression is program is “resentment is when I get mad at you and hurt myself.”) Humans are social animals, and my observation is that people usually get along in the end. I used to have Olympic-elite grudging stamina, and even I generally forgot what I was mad about after a year or so. The resentments that really lingered were exactly the ones I most desperately needed to get rid of.

    Oh noes! I feel a Bible verse coming on:

    For if you love them which love you, what reward have you? do not even the publicans the same? And if you salute your brothers only, what do you more than others? do not even the publicans so?

    Matthew 5:43-48


  • Floss.
  • Keep becoming the low man on the totem pole. It shows you’re doing something right.
  • Be governed by your guts, not your fear. Your needs will be met — all of them. Your fears will interfere with your best quality life at every turn.
  • Abstinence until marriage may not be for everyone, but it does save a lot of time.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

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