I come to understand there are words I use that normal people don’t respond to.

Like, “oh meniscus” instead of “oh my God” — cos in the ninth grade there was a kid who latched onto “meniscus” from chemistry class and thought it was the best word evar and applied it equally to occasions of glee and disappointment and it was highly addictive.

I started using “absotively” at work, and I don’t know where it came from but I wish it would go away, cos it’s hard to earn respect with made-up words not weird enough to be funny. Absotively. Pssh-taw.

Or the highlight of my vocabulary, which I was totally surprised to learn that no one outside of NCSSM Third Bryan gets, which is “nappy.” Nappy has nothing to do with hair texture or being sleepy. Nappy, if I dare express it, is possession of the quality of dry and unexpected humor.

Nappy looks through the couch for enough change to go buy pie. Nappy gently heckles but doesn’t gossip. Nappy smells good.

Double nappy points for its appearance against type, such as in a very quiet or physically powerful person.

Used in a sentence: “That girl going into art department seems really shy but if you spend some time with her she’s totally nappy.”

Or, “Gina Torres acts serious in `Firefly`, but you can tell she’s too so nappy.”

Nappy is mission critical, rare and readily detected. That’s all I got.


Draws. Sweats. Eats too much sugar-free candy.

You may also like...

%d bloggers like this: