Here’s a rilly gross public service announcement. Don’t read on if you ever want to eat ever ever again.
One day about seven years ago I felt like there was a little hard bit of food sitting on the back of my tongue. Like, good job chewing and swallowing, you sorta missed a bit there. But swallowing and drinking doesn’t make it go away. Okay, let’s look in a mirror — stick out the tongue, there’s nothing there. Weird.
But I keep feeling it. Time to take a finger (wash it first) and stick it back there to see what’s up. Ooh, there’s a white piece of something on my tonsil — we`ll just scrape that off…
Looks kinda like this `til the disgusting starts.
OH MY JEEBUS LORD WHAT`S ALL THIS WHITE STUFF? It looks like a spider laid eggs in my face!
Ew ew ew ew ew. Palpate all that stuff out — not that much really, not more than the size of a sunflower seed, wouldn’t freak me out if it weren’t COMING OUT OF MY THROAT.
Said I, I will tell no one of this. No one.
Then a coupla weeks ago it happened again. This time with a little sore throat so I thought I was coming down with something at first. But no. Way grosser.
So I ran this by my sister, who’s a doctor, and without batting an eye told me this was food buildup in my crypts. Crypts? Tonsil crypts. Tonsil stones.
This information is part of an ongoing series of conversations with my sister where I learn terms like pessary, circumcision restraint board and disseminated intravascular coagulopathy, which shares an acronym with “death is coming.” (This reminds me of a friend’s EMT mom who referred to the passenger and driver side of a vehicle as “the bleeding side and the crying side.” When you see enough blood and innards, you get a mite cynical, I reck`.)
There’s an explanation of them which is terribly accurate and soothing at Dr. Greene.com so you know I`m not making it up. Among the highlights:
Microscopic studies of these tonsilloliths [tonsil stones] have shown them to contain a combination of food particles, bacteria, oral debris, and white blood cells in a concentrically laminated pattern — rather like a pearl. Usually they are small gritty particles found in the center of soft, cheesy flecks. Sometimes, however, they become quite large, appearing as rough, yellow or gray, round stones. At times they reach an extraordinary size.
EW. Fortunately mine, while not smelling like roses, didn’t make me want to fall over and die, so mad points for me. I was making people pearls!
Has this happened to you? Did you think you were alone? Did you think SPIDERS laid eggs in your FACE?